Post # 21 It’s That Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

In my part of the country (USA), it’s starting to get colder.  Today, even though I was inside mostly the whole day, my feet were cold.  I just don’t feel warm overall if my feet are cold.  I sat on the couch with my feet tucked under me and one of the dogs cuddled up next to me, and even though I was warm, I felt cold.  It’s going to get warmer soon, because this cold spell is just that:  a cold spell.  That means it won’t last.  It’s going to get warmer again, for a little while, before winter sets in.  Where I used to live is expecting a snow storm.  Not a huge one, nothing like what happened a couple of years ago that kept us trapped in the house without electricity for three days, huddling on the couch with the dogs underneath a pile of blankets with us to share body heat to survive.  But an early snow nonetheless.  And I’m glad that we’re a little further south.  No snow this weekend, no winter weather of any kind, and no having to deal with weather extremes.

But this weather does send me back to the books.  It makes me review the kinds of skills that I know intellectually, and have tried once or twice in practice, but have never really mastered.  How do you make soap?  Homemade candles are wonderful, but are they enough?  Can I feed my family if the power goes out?  Fire is a necessary thing.  In one form or another, fire is the basis of life, unless you like steak tartare, and don’t even get me started on that cuz I have a story that will make you laugh till your sides ache.

More than all that, though, this kind of weather makes me think about what’s ahead.  It’s a primal, gut reaction to the next part of the cycle.  Our ancestors felt it, and we still feel it, regardless of where we live.  When the weather changes, we prepare for it, in one way or another.  Some people prepare for it by gearing up for the holidays to come.  Some people prepare for it by setting in food for the winter.  Some people prepare for it by visiting warmer climates, or making plans to visit warmer climates.

This time of year actually started several months ago at the summer solstice in June.  The days started growing shorter by a few seconds a day.  The dark part of the day, and of the year increased unnoticeably but inexorably as each day passed.  The ancients knew this, but modern man seems to have lost that gut feeling.  Halloween marks that passage into the actual dark part of the year for most people.  Once that holiday passes, everything that comes tends to make people “gather together”.  All the celebrations focus on the inner community.  And I think that’s a wonderful thing.

Halloween sends us out into the community for the last time, to rejoice in playfulness, to experience closeness with our neighbors, to share the bounty of candy or good will.  It’s the last time, for a long time, that we will be able to go out and leave our houses with the same carefree joyfulness and thoughtlessness that we did during the warmer part of the year.  It marks the beginning of the time when introspection starts.  We rejoice in the closeness of family and of self.  Even if we’re not aware of it, we reflect on our family and friends, our community, and its role in our lives, and our role in its life.

This time of year marks the beginning of a truly pleasurable time of year.  It’s a time of year that makes us think about our blessings because there’s not much else to do.  In the northern climates, snow keeps us indoors.  In the southern climates, the cooler weather changes what has been to something that must be dealt with.  From this point on, until Spring, our celebrations embrace the closeness that humans feel with other humans.  From Halloween on, we connect to the network that connects us to those things we need to survive and feel whole.  Thanksgiving Day (in America) and those harvest celebrations (in the rest of the world) that bring the family or community together celebrates our recognition of our need for each other.  I may get angry at my sister, but come Thanksgiving, I cook for her and make certain that she does not leave my table hungry.  Christmas, or Solstice, or Chanukah, or whatever you celebrate at that time brings everyone together to remind us that it’s the rough time and it’s time to pool our resources.  When we can’t make it on our own, it’s comforting to know that there is someone out there to help us, or for us to help.  New Year’s Day and Valentine’s Day are the same kind of celebration.  They’re designed to bring people together.  To remind them that we’re here for each other.

 The upcoming dark time of the year is a time to rejoice and celebrate.  It’s cold.  I don’t like cold.  I rejoice in the cold because it reminds me that I need others and they need me.  I love the fact that the dark time of the year is ripe with festivals and parties in every culture.  It’s enforced relaxation.  It’s the time that the gods and goddesses make certain that we remember our blessings. 

For us in the Northern Hemisphere, Monday starts that.  It’s Halloween, the beginning of the recognizable dark part of the year.  It’s the time to remember, to reflect, to rejoice, and to hope and dream.  I wish everyone who reads this a special Halloween blessing.  I wish to everyone reading this that as the dark increases, your hope increases.  And as the light decreases, your cares decrease.  I wish for all who read this the blessings of the goddess and of the god.  To all:  Blessings!!

Post # 20 It’s Not About the Sex

There’s so much going on in the world today, that it’s very difficult for me to choose what I’m going to write about.  I’ve already faced the fact that I just suck at journaling or blogging, but I’m going to keep plugging away at it.  As Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbs) once said, “I believe everyone is entitled to my opinion.”  So there will be more activity for a few weeks until other things grab my attention.

The topic today is gay marriage.  This is the topic because I think there are a couple of things that people need to understand about it.

First is the concept of gay marriage.  It’s not really marriage, per se, that I want.  What I want are the legal rights, dignity, and consideration that every other citizen of this country, and of this world get.  A friend once said to me that he agreed in civil unions that were recognized legally and that gave all the same rights and privileges as marriage, but that the purpose of marriage was to raise children and since gays couldn’t do that, why would they want marriage.  So I asked him why he got married.  He replied because he fell in love.  Oh, I see, I said, so the subject of children didn’t really enter into it.  Then I asked him why a civil union that held all the rights and privileges of marriage couldn’t be called marriage.  Why would there have to be something separate but equal for gays?  If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, and looks like a duck, why call it a moose?  That being said, even if I don’t want a marriage, it’s what it symbolizes that I do want, therefore, I want marriage.  I want to be treated like any other citizen, and I want my quacks to be called quacks.

Second, it’s being shouted in all the political forums right now that same sex marriage is evil and from the devil.  It will pervert our young people and destroy civilization as we know it.  Well, I kind of hope so on that last one.  What people are not considering is that same sex marriage isn’t about sex.  It’s about love.  If I want sex, I can get it anywhere at almost any time.  Sex is one of the most readily available commodities in the world.  There’s a reason why prostitution is called the world’s oldest profession.  Love, on the other hand, is not so easily found.  Some people go their whole lives without finding it.  Thousands of books have been written about the tragedy of finding Love and losing it.  What I want is to not be vilified because the love of my life, my soul mate, happens to be the same sex that I am.

I don’t care who the person you love is as long as you love each other and are happy together.  I want the same to be said of me, without the raised eyebrow.

And someday, I want it to not even be a question.