Post # 17 The Grammar Gestapo

When I started this blog, I really didn’t expect it to turn into a political, anti-Palin rant.  I imagined that it would just be an outlet for me to express whatever was on my mind, good or bad, in an environment that I created.  It’s just that Palin has been pissing me off recently.  There’s lots of stuff that’s got me concerned around the country, and I’ll probably be blogging about those soon.  But today, I want to talk about the way people in America speak.

A few years ago, I was working a project in South Korea, and I was talking to a friend about being gay.  He said that he always knew that I was gay, almost from the moment that he met me.  I was kind of surprised because I know lots of people who still don’t know or guess.  When I asked what gave me away, he said that it was the way I talked; that I pronounce every single syllable of every word.  I withheld my laughter since he was being serious and said, “Because I talk properly, I must be gay?”  And he replied, “Yeah!”

I once replied to a posting on a group that I used to belong to on the internet jokingly correcting someone’s use of the word “baited” instead of “bated”.  He just as jokingly responded with “Oh no!  Another member of the grammar Gestapo!”  Hence the title of this post.  I don’t go around correcting everyone, despite what my friends think.  But I do cringe every time I hear someone use conversational English incorrectly. 

Unfortunately, we are judged by many categories, and one of the quickest and hardest to shake is the way we speak.  If we speak ignorantly, we are judged to be ignorant.  If we continue to speak ignorantly, we continually reinforce that judgment.  As a writer, I will often allow my characters to speak in the vernacular to establish tone and personality.  However, the style of writing is always correct without any grammatical errors (I think) to prove that I’m intelligent and can do the job.

One really good example that I’ve been hearing a lot lately is the word “conversate.”  Did you know that it’s not a real word?  (I’ll get into “real words” in a moment.)  When two people are talking, they are having a conversation.  The physical act of talking is conversing.  Obviously, a conversation is the result of conversing.  You cannot conversate because the word doesn’t exist.

Let’s talk about how words are added to our list of “proper words”.  Take the case of “ain’t”.  Those of us who are older than 40 will remember every adult in the area telling us that “Ain’t ain’t a word!” whenever we used it.  However, through common usage, it became part of the dictionary.  Another word like that is “OK or okay”.  Nobody knows how this word originated, yet it exists in nearly every single language and is almost globally recognized as a word of acceptance.  Another way that a word will enter into common usage is through jargon.  How many computer words are now used in everyday life that at one time were the sole method of communication between techno-geeks?

Finally, I’d like to address people calling me the grammar policeman or other words and phrases to that effect.  Okay, so I correct people when I hear them saying something incorrectly.  But I’d truly appreciate it if they would do the same for me.  I would not get upset or angry.  I would not assume that they are trying to appear superior or more intelligent.  I would assume that they are trying to help me and are concerned that I not sound ignorant or stupid.  I’d probably want to discuss it, and I would certainly research it.  And I would always thank them.

Hope you all have a great day!

Post # 16 Echoes in Arizona

I grew up in Arizona, finished high school there, got my bachelor and master’s degree there.  I lived in Tucson for several months, and had often said that if I ever decided to go back to Arizona (not likely) that Tucson would be the only place I’d consider living.  This weekend’s tragedy struck too close to home, for me and for many people I know.  It resonates across the country, and indeed, the world.  The shooter is remaining silent as to his motives, but speculation runs high.  The most common theme so far is that this is the result of political rhetoric, most of it stemming from the Republican Tea Party and it’s unofficial spokes person, Sarah Palin.

If this is true, it will take a much better writer than myself to express the amount of evil this represents, and the absolute repugnance that rattles in every fiber of my soul.  I’m not pointing a finger at any one person, but at the entire system and how it has devolved from what it is supposed to be.  I’ve seen that many congressmen have been calling out for a cessation of the use of violent words and images in political discussions.

You see, we no longer live in a world where we can take very much for granted.  Particularly, we cannot take for granted our words.  Words are powerful.  Whether they are written or spoken, words carry the potential to create ideas and incite action.  Some people are very good at putting words together in a way that is almost spellbinding.  Others couldn’t make a coherent sentence with a dictionary and a flashlight.  We use our words to convince others that what we believe is correct. 

The problem is that so many people don’t understand that.  They will say the first thing that comes to their mind without thinking about it.  They will start arguments simply because someone disagrees with them, rather than considering what the other person is saying.  The will try to encourage others to believe the same things they believe, rather than allow the others to believe what they choose.

It’s time for everyone, not just those in religion and politics (or bloggers), to understand the impact of words.  Communication is the most important talent we have been given.  To use it unwisely or without thought is a crime.  It all boils down to respecting other people’s ideas and opinions.

Just sayin’ . . .

Post # 15 What Can We Really Do About It?

Last month, a very elegant, courageous, and classy lady passed away after fighting cancer for several years.  She knew she was dying, but rather than whine about it, she sent out messages of strength and peace.  She handled personal adversity with grace and charm, rather than with entitlement.  When the end approached, she faced it bravely.

Several months ago, I visited a couple of friends in Harrisonburg, PA, and that particular weekend just happened to coincide with their town’s gay pride.  They told us a remarkable story about the parade which I’ll share in a moment.

There’s a wonderful movie called To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar starring Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, and John Leguizamo.  It’s silly fluff, but kinda fun, and totally worth watching to see the three stars dressed in drag and acting as women.  At the end of the movie, Patrick Swayze’s character, Vida, is coming to terms with his life and his two friends are supporting him and calling on him to “Stand up.”

There’s a church whose name rhymes with Testboro who believes it’s their responsibility to protest at the funerals of people whose politics or lifestyles they don’t agree with.  These funerals include those of soldiers killed in battle, politicians, other religious leaders, etc.  Basically, anyone who doesn’t follow their narrow, restrictive religious practices, or who disagrees with them.  They very deliberately choose their targets and their methods and their timing.  I’ve already posted on how reprehensible it is to stage a protest at a funeral where people’s emotions are at their rawest, and their defenses are at their lowest.  I won’t go there now.  But the question remains.  What can we really do about?  This church, and others of their ilk are simply exercising their legal rights to peaceful assembly.

The answer is to stand up.  If you believe in it, stand up for it.

This church declared that they were going to protest at the funeral of Elizabeth Edwards.  I don’t even recall clearly exactly how they justified it, but five members showed up.  Two hundred people showed up to stand in between them and the funeral.  Last veteran’s day, this church decided to stage a protest at a college in DC while congress was voting or discussing something about gay rights.  The students staged their own protest and outnumbered the church members by over 10 to 1.

During the gay rights parade in PA, several local churches decided to line the parade route with protests, banners, signs, and placards.  The local Unitarian church lined the parade route in front of them with banners in support.  The parade was executed without incident or harm on either side.

My answer to What Can We Really Do About It? is an easy one to say, and very difficult to execute.  But it’s a universal answer.  If there’s something you don’t like taking place somewhere and you’re wondering what to do about it, stand up.  Be counted for what you believe.  When people do, change takes place. 

Post # 14 Ms. Palin Again!

One thing I can say truthfully about this woman is that she gives bloggers like me a lot of fuel for our fires.

But first, I need to apologize for the length of time since the last post.  I’ve changed addresses, gone through the holidays, lost a computer, been sick a couple of times, nursed my household through a couple of illnesses, and generally stayed very busy.  Right now, the holidays are over, I’m working on a netbook which is quirky to say the least, everyone is healthy, and I’m working on time management skills to meet several goals for the upcoming year.  Yay!

Back to La Sarah.

Who in the world can say what is in this woman’s mind?  Did you know that she had a reality show on TLC?  I never watched it, but a very good friend did and her exact words were “What a moron!”  I read that it was mostly a thinly veiled campaign stunt.  She has also made the comment that she would only run for the Presidency if no one else wanted to.  I promised to run just so she wouldn’t.

Mostly, though, I stand in stunned disbelief as I watch the double standard she applies to the world and to her family.  She truly believes that it’s okay for her family to behave in the exact ways that she condemns in the rest of the world.  Her daughter Willow tweeted a vile bullying message and used the word “faggot” to describe someone.  Rather than try to use the incident as an opportunity to teach her daughter restraint, maturity, discretion, or any of a number of other virtues, Sarah simply said, “It’s okay because she felt her family was being attacked.”  But it’s okay for Willow to attack someone else?  That doesn’t sound right.  And what happens IF she’s elected President?  We start nuclear war because someone said something bad about her family?  That’s a little scary.

Just the other day, Kathy Griffin said she was now out to get Willow Palin for using the F-word.  Kathy’s exact words were reported as “No one uses the F-word and doesn’t hear about it from me!  I’m taking her down.”  Okay, Kathy G is in her 40s, and Willow is 16.  Doesn’t sound right to me.  Willow hasn’t repeated the offensive behavior (at least it hasn’t be reported that she has) and the assumption is that possibly her parents handled the situation, for good or ill.  What right does Kathy G have to “go after” Willow?  Kathy sounds more like a bully than a concerned citizen.  And as a gay man in today’s society, I’d rather not be defended by someone who’s using the same tactics as those trying to oppress me.

Just sayin’.